Poems, short stories, etc.

A quick one

2011-12-08T02:02:00.000-08:00

I want to write this one in ten
Thats the timeline that has been set
For post that, there is much work to be done
On time, this milestone has to be met!

I need to force my head to think faster
For rhyme, rhythm, flow and words I choose
For time is of essence, efficiency the key
To my manager, and not to creativity do I owe any dues!

My performance needs to be stellar
What people do in fifteen, I need to do in five
And the race to beat time has already begun
No real time in life for a true deep dive!

Be it poetry, philosophy or just smelling the roses
The activities are unproductive and too much time they wallop
So I abandon my attempt to this poem
My manager is waiting, and the time is up!

Cliffhanger

2011-10-14T03:28:00.000-07:00

Grappling against the tides that have taken me by storm
Struggling to find the way out, unlike my usual norm
The pit of darkness trying to swallow me in its ugly mouth
Nothing seems to be working - neither ways harsh nor words couth.

All I have to hang on is a sutra - a thread
Hope is the only hope separating the alive from the dead
And now with immense faith I live each day of mine
I somehow know it isnt long for life to once again be fine!

Time and Again

2011-03-21T01:21:00.000-07:00

Someday people have to die
So will you and so will I
And yet, they live a life so miserable
As if tides would change had they been more able!

The brooding over the long lost past
Regrets, failures or just that the time ran out too fast
The witch of the past still holds her magic spell
They miss the beauty of the present and regret tomorrow's past as well!

Some live in the worry and the planning for the morrow
If this was their last moment, from where would time they borrow?
No one knows the prophecy that awaits
Then why waste this moment contemplating the future's baits?

The present throws no regret and no fear
Is there for a king as well for a mortal mere
The greatest mystery lies wrapped in this while
Transcend time
And open the present with a smile :-)

Her wrath

2010-09-30T13:54:00.000-07:00

When the blue sky breaks its wrath on its people
The shattering remains depict the picture of the unholy truth
The black eyed girl standing by the remains of her cottage
Figuring out the tragedy of the ones missing around her

The soul of the father and the mother
Whom she loved as dearly as they loved her
And she seeks solace in the words of the neighbor
Who lost all her sons in the battle against nature

Death's paws turn ugly when nature is at her worst
For it doesn't kill fully, but survives a few
And the incompleteness of the heart doesnt mend so easily
Till time - the love of nature - heals it from within

And as the mother scolds her child when he goes wrong
So does nature treat you with her wrath when men needeth
But underneath it lies the blood curdling screams of the mother herself
It is time the children saved her as she saves her children.

The Value of a Dream

2010-09-27T02:04:00.000-07:00

A dream is all you have
That gives you wings to fly
To break away from the chains
To cut away the mind's lie.

To break from the mould of the rational
And to enter that which does always await
To believe in something you do not know
To hold the hand of your life's true fate

To meet the calling of your soul
To bloom open from a raw bud
To achieve the self that lies within
To become a lotus amidst the surrounding mud.

The dreamer

2010-09-03T06:36:00.000-07:00

Blurry eyed she went past him
Dreams of a fortune still shone though
But the understander of dreams was no more
Was it the fruit of what was her own sow?

Or was it the ignorance and the veil
Cultivated in the mind of the other
She didnt know, but dreams she had
Dreams enough to storm this weather

But, it wasnt the best time to be in
Hostility was the norm of the day
And yet she knew, if true to the heart
Her dreams would really show her the way

So, she got up and buckled herself
It was time to move ahead of the current time
And if the understander of dreams should ever awaken
She would openly receive him with a heart so fine

The proof of love

2010-06-22T08:52:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful summer afternoon. I had a heavy lunch and was about to fall off to sleep. Its ironical because food is supposed to be a source of energy, but for me it was a source of lethargy.

I was about to nap when 'Omana Penne' started playing. It was my ring tone, a hep interesting Tam song and I saw it was Nisha calling me. "Rishabh, Save me. I am in a mess. I am at a phone booth in Down Street and a goon is following me". I got up with a shock. "I will be right there, ...". Before I could complete my sentence, she had jammed the phone down. I dont know what was happening but I panicked. I wanted to run but my body seemed paralyzed. Its an ironic thing how when we desperately want to do something, our body fails to do it!

I jerked myself to reality. I had to calm down a bit. I took a few deep breaths. Getting myself to move, I grabbed a pair of jeans from my wardrobe and rushed to my car. Down Street was fifteen minutes from here and I was wondering what was happening to Nisha. i was sweating not with the afternoon heat, but with fear. In peak afternoon, most of Kolkata sleeps and Down Street isnt very populated either. It is where Nisha works. I was shit scared and I pressed on the accelerator as soon as I got in my car.

I drove the distance at max speed and managed to reach Down in 12 minutes. Nisha was nowhere to be seen. I kept trying her phone. It was ringing. Her caller tune sang "Tu hai kaha? Main hu waha, tu hai jaha" (Where are you? I am right where you are). Again ironic!

I parked my car at a curb and started running north asking people whom I met on the way about Nisha's whereabouts describing how she looked. Nobody seemed to have noticed her. I ran for I dont know how much time - but it seemed like an eternity. Maybe it was just 5 minutes. How 5 minutes can turn into eternity when we miss our beloved, ironic!

I was running in the direction of Nisha's office as I assumed she would have run in that direction as she needed help. I had reached her office now. I asked the receptionist about Nisha. She directed me to a room. I asked her if Nisha was fine. She said, she was.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I went to the room the receptionist had pointed to. It was Nisha's personal cabin and she seemed to be working on a computer intently.
"What the hell?", I asked. "You seem absolutely fine".
"That doesnt please you much?", she asked.
"What the... Ofcourse it does darling. But what was that phone call all about. You had gotten me so worried".
"Oh darling, did it scare you too much?"
"What! Ofcourse, I was shit scared. What happened?"
"Nothing".
Silence. I was bewildered.
"Nothing?"
"You remember what date it is today".
I thought for a while and I said, "June 22nd.... Oh shit! Its your birthday. Happy Birthday Nish".
"You forgot my birthday. I started thinking that you dont love me any more. I wanted to be sure if we could live happily together".
"Ofcourse we could."
"But I wanted to be sure. And after seeing your face worried, I realized that you were mine. I had to make the call just to be sure you love me. I love you too darling." She came into my arms and put her shoulder on my chest.

I was bewildered not only at her stupidity and but also the fact that she found the phone call a smart idea. That moment I hated her. Just because I loved her. And, I realized you never have to prove someone that you hate her but you have to go mad just to prove someone you love her. And they say, love asks for no proof. Ironic!

Worded Expressions

2009-10-18T12:27:00.001-07:00

It seems eons since when I wrote last
When I poured my blithesome heart out
Into those tiny little bubbles called words
Potently carrying an emotional bout

And I wonder how can a few symbols - a mere few
Express the magnitude of my solitude
The purity of love, the twinkle of a hope
Perseverance and its fortitude

Scribbled on a random scrap
Flaking away in the air of the fan
Emotions and all hues of it
My heart expressed by a mere pen?

As I marvel at the power of it all
As I once again scribble the word
Language and its mysteries recall
The pen is mightier than the sword

A dream too many

2009-09-11T21:51:00.000-07:00

Rising in the plane of my mind
A dream swirls and wrooms around
I try to hold it and give it shape
But helter skelter, its lost and found

I hold on to a thought so tight
I give away many for it
Trying to reach the dream of youth
Dancing around on its pulsing beat

And I miss out a dream I could have had
Had I let it run weird places
Embracing one so strongly then
Kept me out of a lot of races

And the race of life is to be won
Not by a closed dream but by opening to many
Warmly embracing the morning sunshine
Moving randomly to your final destiny

Perspectives

2009-04-18T00:48:00.000-07:00

1:
As I stand still by the roadside
Watching the machines fly by me
I wish I could drive one so beautiful
Tis the pace at which I want to be.

2:
As I stand still by the roadside
Seeing the machines whiz away
Ugly and loathsome they seem to me
Destroying the serenity of the day.

3:
As I stand still by the roadside
As the machines fly away in their pace
Serenity and speed lie not in the car but inside me
This knowledge dawning, brings a smile to the face :)

Carrots

2009-02-18T07:40:00.001-08:00

Once there was a gardener Bhaari. He had a beautiful rabbit. This story is of those times where rabbits could understand and even speak English. Not only rabbits, but the entire animal kingdom could. If you havent read about this age in history, then you didnt read the right books!

So, as I was saying, our dear rabbit Dido was an intelligent kitten. His master Bhaari took him to different kitten races. He told Dido, "You win the race and I will give you a carrot." Dido always won. He simply loved the carrots.

Slowly slowly, Dido grew up. With all the carrots, he was bound to be fitter than most other rabbits. Bhaari now took Dido to the bigger races where Dido competed with much bigger rabbits. He told Dido as always, "Win the race and take the carrot". Dido was unhappy. He complained, "These races are bigger, tougher. I will not run or win for one carrot. I need two." Bhaari agreed. Dido always won. Slowly slowly, Dido got 3, 4, 5... carrots per race. Dido now grew fat and bulky. He ofcouse could not run the races anymore. He seemed tired. He wanted his master to take care of him now. The master just wanted to win the races. One fine day, the master threw Dido out of the house to get a beautiful new rabbit Mojo.

Also, at the same time there was a wise old fellow Sada. He had a not-so-beautiful rabbit Jijo. Jijo never won the races. His master after every loss told him, "You are very lucky. You got one more chance to learn today. Learn from your mistakes and move ahead." Jijo always got a carrot irrespective of whether he won or not. Jijo would make it a point to try his best to not let his master down. He practised harder and harder after every race. But, he surely wasnt the best. He always lost. When he grew up, his master gave him 2 carrots after every race. Never more. He said, "If you have too many carrots, you will end up spoiling your health". Jijo never asked for more.

The wise old man fell unwell one odd day. Jijo didnt want to disappoint the old man. He knew this could possibly be the last race the old man saw. He gave his best. He could have died on the race ground, that was his fierceness. He still didnt make it. He was a close second. With eyes blurred with tears, he reached his master. "I am sorry master. I failed you once again. You deserve a much better pet". To this, the wise master replied, "If you would have failed me, you would not have been besides me now. I have seen you put your efforts day in day out. You have done your 100%. Still, if only results matter, you have given me the true result in life. You have given me the happiness which no other rabbit could ever give. You gave me your sweat, you made me proud".

The master went on to live to see the next race which Jijo won.

Shocked at Jijo's - the weakest rabbit's - win, Dido came to meet him. "How did you manage this Jijo? I can barely run these days." To which Jijo replied,"We all run for carrots. More and more. More and more. Carrots are our motivation. After each win, they make us happy but the need for further motivation just keeps increasing. But, when there is no motivation, no need for even a carrot - when you have a master like mine - what you have is not motivation, but inspiration. And a second of inspiration lasts you a lifetime".

Dido understood the difference between a management Guru and a spiritual Guru :)

The painting

2009-01-06T01:56:00.000-08:00

It had been a boring summer at home after my ship reached Indian shores having traveled to exotic locations across four continents of the world during winter and spring. Days were spent not knowing what to do with them; one day at a time. Today, while glancing through the Bombay Times (for it deserves no more than a glance), I saw that one of India's most renowned painters Mr. Natwar Shah had his painting exhibition at the Jehangir Art gallery called 'My signature exhibition'. It was one of its kind, for the guests would not only get to meet Mr. Shah in person but also for the first time on display were his unsigned paintings. He would sign them in front of all his fans and the entire gathering at the gallery. Reading that advertisement, I started reminiscing my days at school where I loved to paint and decided to check out the exhibition to get a glimpse of Mr. Shah myself. Afterall, there could be nothing juicier than art on a dry summer day.

Jehangir Art Gallery is perhaps honored of being the place where the best put their best on display. While looking at the various pieces of marvel, there was an unusual one that caught my eye. It was painted majorly in shades of black but also randomly in shades of red, orange, green. The forms in the painting seemed undecipherable and I couldn't make much of the painting. I looked at the title of the painting. It was called 'Happiness' and i realized this is what people called abstract painting!

The painting was making no sense to me and while I was looking at the painting, another curious painting enthusiast came and stood next to me. "Wow, isn't that a remarkable painting?", he exclaimed. I was wondering how did he decode the crypt hidden in the painting or whether he was just faking it up. Whichever be the case, not wanting to look ignorant, I said, "Ya. It is so beautiful. Look at the various new forms and patterns. They are so creative and unusual". There are two types of men in the world - a few mad ones who comprehend art and the others who behaved as it they were the mad ones. This fellow seemed to belong to the first category though for he analyzed the hues, the forms and their relation to happiness with me in great detail.

While this discussion (rather a monologue) was on, a few more had joined us. Someone remarked, "How uncharacteristic and creative! Look at the Z and the inverted A painted at the two ends of the painting. The painter believes that a reversal of the dogmas taught to us in the name of education and moving backwards from Z towards A, inverting whatever biases we have in our heads, only that can bring true happiness to the society!"

"What an intelligent interpretation!", I thought. Continuing this idea, I said, "Ya absolutely. The author believes in the reversal of tradition. Some of his forms look like inverted human faces to me and he stands for inversion of dogmas, change and revolution." I was soaking in this revelation that had occurred to me when Mr. Natwar Shah, the great painter (now perhaps legendary for me) himself arrived at the exhibition. I was eager to know his interpretation of the painting and I was so glad that I had decided to come to the exhibition.

Mr. Shah began by signing each of his paintings and each sign of his led to thunderous applause from his fans (me now one of them :) ). After signing a few paintings, he reached us. After seeing so many gathered around a painting of his, he took a look at this painting. He looked infuriated when his eyes met the painting. "I am so sorry for this", he apologized to us. "Ramu", he shouted at the top of voice while we were bewildered at what was happening. Ramu, the caretaker of the gallery arrived almost immediately at Mr. Shah's call. "Can't you see a painting and put it up? Why have you put this on display upside down? Change this, you idiot".

I felt naked. And perhaps all those who ACT like mad men did!

In All Times

2008-12-08T10:37:00.001-08:00

Bad Times

The bad times tear you apart
Ripping your inside with a sharp edged knife
Pain soaring through the mind
Trying to figure the conundrum called life

Feeling just like closing the eyes
Losing yourself in oblivion
A world where no one knows you
Where you know no one
A non-existent entity!

Good times

The bliss percolating in you
And also being reflected at the same time
The reflection adding to the percolation
The world lies at your feet

Feeling like sharing the warmth
Hugging even those you do not know
Seeking to reach the zenith
Of the mountain called happiness

All Times

All times good or bad
Fade away in diminishing light
Mere reflections remain
Telling you about the impermanence

Making you seek the permanent
Making you seek the zenith and the zero
Both together at the same time
Being non-existent and being the infinite!

Thus passes another day

2008-12-02T10:53:00.000-08:00

Thus passes another day
Without the slightest trace
No sound, no movement
And it exists no more.

I am no greater
For I will pass too
Not a matter of days, but years
A mere second in the frame of the Universe

Miniscule and virtually non-existent
I sit in one corner of the world
Thinking about myself, my pain, my agony
Considering myself the hero of this fantasy!

Hoping for a change, a reform
Hoping for a better tomorrow
When it’s all suppose to pass away
No sound, no movement.

Death doesn’t have claws
It is serene, it is true
It comes but doesn’t last half a second
No sound, no movement

And despite all this, the world changes
Please don’t call it the cumulative effect
Its not me who does anything
And if you think its you,
Know you will pass too.

And then I surrender one day
To the Universe
Since it knows best and it sent me here
Everything will end when will go away all fear

And then will pass another day
A happier me
A blissful me
No sound, no movement.

The solution

2008-11-11T06:45:00.000-08:00

Rashid and I went to the municipality office to lodge a complaint against the open sewage in our area, which was causing a health epidemic. The authorities, like in any other municipality office, were highly apathetic and directed us from one counter to the other, asking us to complete endless formalities without providing any assistance. “You need to fill the complaint form”, “Checking the completed form is not my duty – it is Mishra’s duty. Go to that counter”, “Cant you complete the form properly? What do you mean you don’t know what to fill in these fields?”, “Come back after half an hour. I need to have my tea.”, “What are you guys doing here till now? Cant you wrap up your work quickly”.

By the end of an hour, I was seething with anger. I started cursing them, “God, these men don’t deserve anything. What they do to others, the same should happen to them. They deserve worse. Let them remain dumb and unenlightened for the rest of their lives.” I was loud enough for Rashid to hear and he prayed, “God, bless these people. Give them a lot of happiness and contentment. Enlighten them”. “What for, Rashid?”, I cut his stupid prayer short. He replied, with the wisdom of a hundred year old sage, ”For when they are enlightened will they realize that the way they are working is wrong. And that will bring about an internal reform in them. And then this will never happen again”.

“Punishment serves no purpose. It is cruel to the one it is inflicted on and it makes no difference to the offender’s future for he remains ignorant. Reform changes a man internally; it causes a realization and the man never wrongs again. An eye for an eye just makes two men blind.”. I now knew why Rashid never believed in capital punishment. He knew the solution.

[Dedicated to H.H.Sri Sri Ravi Shankar who has taken the Art of Living Courses to prisoners across the world bringing about a complete reform in their lives]

The echo

2008-10-17T22:29:00.000-07:00

The boy reached the edge where the mountain met the valley. He screamed "Hello"; back came the same reply in a similar voice. He did not like the fact that someone had a voice so similar to his; he shouted back "I hate you". The reply was "I hate you".

Some time later in the day, the boy went to his dad and said, "Dad I love you"; his dad said, "I love you too son". The mountain had taught the boy the law of karma.

An Orange Day

2008-08-28T05:24:00.001-07:00

It was an orange day. I don’t know why but it was one of those rare days I classified as orange. Days can be so easily classified using colors. I don’t do it; my mind automatically arranges them for me – yellow when I am bright, white when I am calm, black when I am mournful, grey when I am tensed and so on. Every hue carries a message and today was orange.

I did not see anything special about today but somehow I never see a specialty in an orange day right from the start. But my heart says it is an orange day and so, it has to be special. As usual, I leave for college at 7:30 am and reach college late by half an hour. It makes no difference since the lecturer whose class starts at 8 never makes much sense to me. I am allowed to sit for the class and I am happy. Attendance is what I attend for. Less attendance and you are black listed. See, even the lists are colorful. I wonder what a yellow list would be like.

The college goes on till the scheduled 3 pm. In Mumbai, it does not rain, it pours. Last one hour, it was pouring heavily. We requested our lecturer to allow us to go home; he denied permission. Heavy rains aren’t unusual phenomena in Mumbai. And when the college bell rang, we rushed for home. Moving down the staircase that took us to the front gate, we were stopped short in our tracks. I live in Mumbai from 21 years, right from the time they changed my first nappy, but I had never witnessed this before.

The rains looked catastrophic. Meanwhile, cell phones started beeping wildly and the verdict was out – No moving out of here. All rail routes, road routes were closed. Stranded and happy I was. Happy because a day in college doing nothing but chilling out called for a celebration.

The next few hours were spent discussing as to whether we will be able to go home today, cursing the lecturer for not letting us leave early (good he was stranded too) and gossiping about our "favorite" lecturers. I did not know that Reema was going out with Akhil; they were two of my most hated lecturers! Wow, what a combo. We cracked jokes on what would they name their kid when they have one. “Artificially intelligent” came a prompt reply to the question put forth by Rajesh, an out-of-the-box thinking friend of mine. And someone said it would be “Network failure”. Reema taught us Computer Networks, Akhil Artificial Intelligence.

Another few hours gone by and the rain had subdued a little. The more adventurous people had started moving out of college and slowly and steadily people seemed to be moving out. Going back home was impossible but people were trying to go to places of some people known to them living nearby. Seeing the college getting emptier, I decided to move out. A distant cousin of mine lived some blocks away from college and in India, you know all your distant cousins, however distant they may be. I saw a plus in this for the very first time as I moved out to reach his place.

Today was different and hence, it should have classified as green, I was still waiting for the orange spark. And then it dazzled brilliantly through the grey alley I was moving in. She asked me if I could help her under my umbrella, she was drenched. And I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She was beautiful, elegant, graceful. It was her eyes I couldn’t take mine off from. Dark jet black, something so beautiful within her. I felt a deep connection. I don’t know if you would describe her as beautiful or elegant when you meet her; most people don’t. But, I saw something I had not seen in any of the girls I had met before, however beautiful they may be. The key had fit the lock perfectly and I felt my heart had closed for any other woman on earth. It was unusual but it was a moment to be revered for life.

“Excuse me?” she got me back to my senses. “Sorry”, I mumbled. “You can get under the umbrella. But I don’t know how well this would be able to protect us both.” She got under my umbrella. She smelt of sandalwood – pure and holy. She looked at me to say “Thanks”. I was wondering if she felt the same clinking of metals within her, the same current running under her skin as was running through me.

She got under the umbrella. I tried controlling myself but blurted out, "You are so beautiful." How can you ever say this to a girl when you have only just met her? What will she think about me - would she find me ugly and desperate? But she only smiled. She said, "I know and I am glad you can see it too". I did not understand what she meant when she said this. Glad that I saw it too? Does this mean other people did not see her as beautiful? I was confounded.

And it again started pouring madly. The water in the lane we were now walking in was already a little above waist-level. But, this sudden pouring had taken me aback. Luckily, I noticed that an electricity pole was dangling dangerously around the corner of the lane. If the pole fell down, it would electrify us both to our deaths. And I caught her hand and asked her to run. The pole could collapse any moment and we had to hurry. But, she did not move - out of fear or shock I do not know. And I said,"What? Do you want to die?" And she said,"Nobody wants to die. But we all have to." This wasnt time for philosophy. But she continued, "People find death ugly for it takes them by shock. But, there are few who understand the beauty in it. Death is transformation. Can you imagine how would it be to just live on and on with this body ageing but there being no death. How ugly that kind of immortality would be as compared to death?" I thought she was crazy.

I left her hand to run away but she held my hand tightly and I couldnt move. I was just attracted. And she continued, "People see in death what they are. And you saw beauty in me. You are beautiful. And you will pass into a newer life without any pain, without any trouble. You deserve a beautiful transition". Till I could just grasp what these words meant about her,the pole collapsed. A strong current ran through my body and I smiled. Life had passed in the time my lips had curled. It was surely an orange day - the last of this lifetime.

Style

2008-08-22T05:23:00.000-07:00

"I have always wanted to be different but in wanting it, I have been so ordinary. But, when I am just the way I am, I am so unique that I dont need to want to be different. I just am!
Somebody called me weird today. I felt so happy :D".

Style is all about being yourself. The moment you get conscious of what others think about you, you have lost it! If you wear a certain set of clothes and you are very conscious of whether your dressing sense will be appreciated, please change the clothes. The moment you are conscious of every one else's opinion, the style in the clothes ends.

Because there is no style in the clothes. The clothes are given style by the one who wears them. Stop wanting to look stylish. BE yourself - calm, composed, unruffled and dont care for what the world has to say about you. And what will follow you is your own unique style.

Over a period in time, I have understood my style. It is being simple, helpful and friendly. It is not just arrogance or complexity that can make you stylish. Each one has his/her own unique signature and mine is called simplicity.

The Mirage

2008-08-22T05:22:00.001-07:00

It was a pretty exhausting sight – for a man already so exhausted. I could see only a long stretch of desert; an infinite stretch; extending from the horizon behind me to the horizon beyond. Time stood still in the face of an unmoving desert – and it was my race against time; the race with a small twist – the winner would be the one who lasts last. I definitely wasn’t the one whom you would put your money on – even I wouldn’t have!

I had covered a great expanse after the robbery the previous morning; where I had lost all my money and my camel at gunpoint. Despite all the efforts at being a miser, I could not save a single drop of water by noon. And here I stood, one day later, with my throat parched, the sunrays piercing my skin like a sharp dagger but blood refusing to ooze out. Blood too survived on water.

It wasn’t all that pleasant a trip that I had heard my colleagues speak of in Europe when they spoke of Sahara. I never thought I would ever see a mirage but I had already seen three by now. Can you imagine how it feels – you will realize if you try to feed a dog that hasn’t eaten since 3 days. Show him a piece of bread but don’t let him eat it. ‘Jump doggie, jump’ and it will jump higher and higher and do you know how it will react if you don’t give him the piece of bread in the end? I could not even do that. Not one but three illusions of being close to water – the life-saving liquid, the most beautiful part of all existence. And just when you are about to touch it, swoosh it goes! Nowhere to be seen!

Every single step I took gave me pain far beyond comprehension and yet I moved on. I did not even know if I was in the right direction until I reached the famous Ghard Abu elMaharik ghoroud, the famous sand sea, or what I would call it – The land of the Dunes. I could see the great dunes rising to my right; seif dunes, the ones, uniform in their straightness on the long axis with beautifully winding but sharply edged crests. I knew I was on the right track; one more day and I would make it to my destination, that is, only if I survived.

Very suddenly, amidst the dunes, I saw it! A distinct shining and gleaming on a piece of flat land between two huge dunes, meant to tempt travelers like me – water like I had never seen before. It was a beautiful sight, the drops of water glistening in the bright sun. I tried smacking my lips but even saliva refused! My dry tongue rolled on the torn lips and I was about to make a leap but I was suddenly stopped short. Good, at least my gray cells had not stopped working. I knew what this was. And I had been anticipating this since morning. I knew there were more to come. The desert was trying to capitalize on my weakest link, trying to break me down through a torture, like the ones, Nazis inflicted on the Jews. It was a mirage! “You can’t break down like that. You have to fight this desert. Don’t look there again.” And I moved ahead. But I saw myself turning back, again and again, just to get a glimpse of water. My eyes were thirsty too.

But, I moved on. Victory number one! And then there was victory number 2! And victory number three! And then, they were gone. I had overcome my weakness and with a renewed vigour, I walked towards my destination. One and a half days it took me to reach the Bahareya Oasis. But, I had finally made it!

Here, I met Abdel Hayfa, another traveler who had been looted on his way. He had reached here a day before me. Robberies were on a rise in the Sahara these days. But despite all the difficulties in his journey, this man looked perfectly fit and fine. That had me surprised, since here I was – looking as ghastly as ever, bedridden with high fever. Loo had struck me and what a blow it had been. "How did you survive the unbearable thirst for last two days and are yet so fit and fine?", I asked. "Why no.. On my way here, it had rained at the Ghard Abu elMaharik ghoroud and I found a good deal of water there. Enough to survive me through the rest of my journey. Didn’t you find any water out there?", asked Abdel. And lightning struck me, pretty hard I must say! And though, now that I know, my race with time was an unduly long one, though I am down with fever, completely bedridden, though I will not recover for another week at least and though I had the toughest time of my life, I wasn’t depressed. I had learnt the biggest lesson of my life, "Most mirages in the world exist where they should not – in the human mind!"

A Transition

2008-08-22T05:20:00.000-07:00

Claustrophobic is the word. The strangulation of the throat, the breathlessness, the agony. Every moment feels like a lifetime. The pain pierces the body into the heart. Each cell shivers with the thought of the next. Suddenly, darkness dawns in. This is the end. I somehow know, this must be it. But no, I am not there yet. Death felt like such a shimmer of hope. Alas, it wasn’t to be. With half-closed pupils, I still see the world with blurred eyes awaiting the moment. Awaiting something. I am stuck between two pathways – hanging from a cliff. I fear loosening my grip and yet holding on is extremely painful. The two worlds seem far apart. Yet, I hope they coincide. Somewhere, within me, I hope for a smooth transition. It can’t be this abrupt. It doesn’t seem right. Communication sometimes is the key but here, I miserably fail to speak out. I hope for a stroke of magic and I don’t let the hope die. It is the only thing which pulls me along every moment of the darkness.

And in the far away distance, I see a flicker of light growing larger, more beautiful, approaching me. I guess the time has come. And a lullaby sings on its own accord somewhere in my heart. I am going to sleep now. Forever. And gradually, beautifully, I do it. I breathe my last.

Exclusive!

2008-08-22T05:19:00.002-07:00

It was raining pretty heavily this weekend. Warning was issued that nobody moves out of his/her home. So, what do you do when you are stranded at home? Ofcourse, TV!! Good, soaps do not occupy channel space on weekends. So, I could watch the news. Well, the plethora of news channels available for us gives us such wonderful variety to select from.

So, going through various channels, I finally landed up on India TV. India TV, remember? The Shakti kapoor scandal. The channel which relies on stings more than news!! Well, that’s what I used to think. Till, I watched this exclusive piece of footage which no other news channel could even cover! This wasn’t a sting operation though I thought, for the first time, that a sting operation would be much preferable. The news report headlined ‘Naag aur naagin ka pyaar’. Everyone is so keen on cashing on sex today that the news channel stooped to show two snakes mating each other at prime time. Well, we are not all that desperate, are we?

Well, if the idea wasn’t hilarious enough even for animal planet to show, the news reader made it even more incredulous. It seems he did a lot of ground research on snakes before he said this, “The female snake waits for the male snake. Then, the male snake climbs down a tree and reaches his mate. And all this while they feel nobody is watching them. But well, somebody is watching their romance. Who this is, we will tell you after a short break”.

Oh, you have to wait the entire break to know who saw the snakes mating. Ofcourse, it was the India TV camera! Sting, remember? Well, this was prime time 8 pm news on this channel and ofcourse no other news channel could show such important news to its viewers. Can you beat it, not even STAR News! But, I am glad for this exclusive bit of news, not for the news, but for the fact that it is exclusive, just on this channel! If others too joined in….

Defying Gravity

2008-08-22T05:19:00.001-07:00

Can you imagine
how must it feel
To break out of a central attraction
That binds you down to where you are

Floating high, so high that you can touch your dreams
At almost an arm's stretch
Creating newer miracles
Breaking out of the mould that strong.

The black hole has lost all its meaning
No more gravitation to hold you back
You decide your boundaries
Rather, you are limitless!

Experiencing the kick
That takes you to such a high
That you reach a newer dimension
Whose existence you didnt know of.

Defying the rules is not so difficult
But difficult is to persist the defiance
And so lies the truth
With Defying Gravity.

When your system slows down

2008-08-22T05:18:00.001-07:00

Isnt it so irritating when things don’t work at the pace of your brain? You click, click and click on that bloody link but it does not open… Everything is wrong with the network and the bandwidth and you of course curse man for inventing things like the internet which make you used to getting anything you want at a click’s pace… Oh damn! What a long click!

But you know, it honestly isn’t all that bad. Its days since I was thinking of writing something interesting. And look at what the slowing of my system has given me! Not only an opportunity to write something new, but the topic chose itself! Till my code chooses to activate itself (don’t bother with the terminology, its just some infinitely long processing going on), I write this to bore you thoroughly and enthrall myself with your dumbfounded expressions.. Hehe, how sadistic!

But it is just amazing the amount of small little stuff that you can do in your system down time. You can gel up with your colleagues who also are abusing the system performance the way you are. No better way to get along with people than a heart to heart talk about how very much you hate the way things are, your work is, your office is, how someone else got that promotion that you completely deserved, how people tend to boss you all the time... Or perhaps, if you are a workaholic, you could make a checklist of things that you haven’t ever tried on your system and the new R&D you could do and suggest your system developers on how they can improve their performance… After all, they don’t call you a geek just like that…

Or else, if you carry your newspaper along, open it and read that article which you thought you would read when you would get time, that is, if you have not already joined your colleagues in abusing your office and boss! And if you are the spiritual kinds, close your eyes and meditate. Resist all the temptations to abuse, let your patience be tested but don’t join your colleagues in the jolly good time they are having! No, no … keep your eyes closed I said…

And finally if you still don’t have any work to do, do it like me… Write stuff that makes no sense whatsoever and make people read it just for enthralling your self… Go ahead, go ahead… Enjoy the sadistic moment! Thank God, the system fails once in a while!

Colored!

2008-08-22T05:17:00.000-07:00

It feels crimson red
When I look at you
It feels pink
When you look back.

It feels dark green
When you are with someone.
It feels cool blue
When I share myself with you.

It feels yellow
When you are in a bright mood
It feels gray
When you are away.

It feels black
When I fight with you
It feels chocolate brown
When we are back again.

It feels orange.
To see my early morning sun.
It feels so white
To be in love.

No, you dont color my heart,
Not my feelings either,
Not even my life
You color my soul!

Yearning for Support

2008-08-22T05:16:00.000-07:00

Yearning for support
I need to be held
The need for someone to wipe my tear
To embrace me so tight
That it takes away all my pain in its warmth.

For a friend's hand on my shoulder
For a motherly touch on my arm
For a pat on my back
For fingers ruffling my hair
Like the gentle breeze.
Yes, yearning it is!

And I know when it will be dusk
The time for me to go
I will look back and thank these times
For creating a new dawn - my dawn,
To have given me the strength of steel!

An Atheist (A Believer's Perspective)

2008-08-22T05:15:00.002-07:00

Atheism, as per the Oxford dictionary means "Disbelief in, or denial of, the existence of God'. Culturally, we have been born and brought up with a certain set of beliefs and one of the most strongly reinforced beliefs in us has been that of the existence of God. Although, over the years, as we grow up, each one defines God in his or her own way, yet there are few who logically challenge this concept--some of them who cant find any logic behind his existence become atheists, and the others(like me) become believers.

So now, I make a classification as follows:

1) Peoplw who logically analyze the analyze the presence of God (Category Q)
2) People who do not feel the need for analysis Category(P)

Category Q pwople can be further classified as
i) Atheists (Category Q1)
ii) Believers (Category Q2)

I often come across threads in various communities on Orkut like 'What is the meaning of life?' which often(and pretty expectedly) takes a turn and enters the "divine" spectrum of discussion. And then, you see a huge clash of opinions between the theists and atheists. The atheist tries to disprove God while the believer would never even try to see the logic involved behind such a conclusion and would pass repugnant remarks against the atheists(ofcourse, not everyone does that, yet most do). Well, I dont really understand how can a "believer" be so non-inclusive by nature?

Well, coming back to the point---atheism. Or perhaps the difference between the P and Q1 category of people... Atheists, by disbelieving God, atleast prove that they are thinkers. They would not take any thing that any one feeds them with. Honestly, there was a point in time where even I had started thinking, 'Does God really exist?'. A thought on similar lines is sufficient proof of the existence of your own individual indentity in this world.

But, what really makes someone think like this? I am not sure. Though, I believe it is a sense of loss which triggers the question in your head. When unfortunate things happen, you start questioning the "happy endings" that you were always made to believe in.

Well, fortunately for me, when I was questioning the existence of God, I came across meditation---and I needed no more proof(Thank You Guruji for everything:) ). And then a realization stuck me hard that faith cannot be proved. And where the realm of logic ends, that is just the beginning of the realm of faith. No, I dont expect an atheist to understand that and I dont even intend to explain. Certain things lie beyond explanation. And yet, they exist...

I have always believed in "happy endings" and the faith in me says---> I will have a happy ending---perhaps, all of us will! And yet, when I see an atheist, I develop a sense of respect for that individual---because I realize here is a person who has the wisdom to question, to challenge, to understand...

Would like to end this by saying:
" Be it an atheist or a believer, behind the mask, lies the same face ".

- Shreyans Mehta
(A special dedication to Aakarsh--the atheist;), who in his own subtle way, inspired me to write this blog)

The Cage

2008-08-22T05:15:00.001-07:00

'I roam around freely
This is my abode
The world inside is full of comfort
And the one outside is just full of load.
I am the KING of this place
This is MY zone
Oh! I quite love the comfort which it brings along
This territory, that I call my own.'

I am broken from these thoughts
When I hear a laughter full of mock
Swoosh! Appears a sage from nowhere
And when I recover from this shock
He tells me this place is a trap
Which I call my zone
That my purpose lies outside somewhere
Not in the place, I call my own.

I laugh at him in his face
But when he goes away
I start giving it a second thought
And white starts replacing grey!
OH YES! What the sage said was right
All this is so worthless
And if I stay here anymore
My life would be a mess!

Gripped by this sudden frenzy
I try to run away
Just to collide against the wall
The wall stands in my way!
And then I run in all directions
Thinking about, what said the sage
And everytime, I meet a collision
Just to realize this is a cage!

A cage the society built up
Before giving me this home
So that I could live in comfort
But MY world, I could not roam.
But has the society built this cage
Or has this been done by me?
A voice within still calls out
BREAK FREE... BREAK FREE...

In The Quest For God

2008-08-22T05:13:00.000-07:00

I searched the mountain peaks
And fathomed every sea
I searched everywhere
Every place where you ought to be.

I searched the deep valleys,
And tried to find you there
Searched every river, every stream
But you seemed to be nowhere.

I saw the animals
Searched among the tree
Oh God! Where are you
Please show yourself to me’

The traveler prayed aloud
And he looked very grim
But as all of us know
God could not disappoint Him.

The prayer was heard
By a man passing by
And the traveler’s quest ended
When came this reply

‘Have you heard of the deer
Who searches for the musk
Whose quest just like yours
Goes on from dawn to dusk

The deer smells the fragrance
And goes round and round
But do you know
Where the musk is to be found?

Not in the mountains
Not in any river
The musk is present
Right inside the deer.’

The traveler was happy
And the answer he knew
That God is nowhere
But in me and you.

Still, in the name of religion
The situation looks so grim
When people kill each other
They are actually killing Him!

So let us love each other
And let our horizons be broad
Let us stop fighting
At least in the name of God.

JAI GURUDEV